Sometimes I imagine that's why I don't want to eat. Like if I getthinner and thinner, I'll become less attached to the earth, to itsgrossness, its meatiness, and instead I'll hover in-between, more likean angel, more ethereal and pure. Does that make any sense? There's aconnection here somewhere, not that I can make it any clearer. I suddenly remember the day-old cookie in my pocket that the old lady atthe Blue Cat gave me. I haven't had a thing to eat today and I guessit's hunger and thinking about my so-called eating disorder that bringsit to mind without me even realizing it. I take it out, sniff at it, andmy mouth is watering for it.But I don't take a bite. It's a matter of discipline. It's not easy tobecome an angel. I resist eating by imagining that the hunger pangs Isuffer are my wings growing.Instead I break up the cookie into crumbles and spread it on the graveat my feet. An offering to the dead. Sixteen. Her name was AmandaWatson. I wonder if she managed to become an angel.. My mind was going round and round; was she climaxing on his black cock; was he fucking her sweet tight firm ass?What they were doing was now down to my imagination I would have no way of knowing until he left the Jacuzzi and I was with Sally. I just know she wanted to play a game which meant her getting another black cock. She knew that my role in the game was to do what I was doing, sitting here and know that behind closed doors she was cuckolding me again.I moved to the sofa to be more comfortable with a cock that was straining against the confines of my shorts. Sipping my beer I again looked at the clock, it was now 30 minutes and he was still inside with my naked wife. The wish surfaced once more that I was in there watching her with him but I knew that she would find this so exciting, me being outside having to guess what they were doing; how they were doing it.My mind went back to more basic thoughts. Was he bigger than Marcel, the black guy who could always make her climax,.
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